theBubbleBathBoi: September 2004

Lagoon

concealed in darkness
magical moment stirring deep within
beneath the moonlight
a connection of entities
silent glances
melting hearts
and addicting madness ...

glowing bodies
souls dancing in clasped embraces
breaking barriers
of what is forbidden

its only witness
fiery wings
fairies' voices
the dark black stream
your guilt
my conscience

... heart's at a low...

Due to recent breakups and relationship booboos of people surrounding my life, tonight's theme song: TLC's Damaged

...My heart's at a low

I'm so much to manage

I think you should know that

I've been damaged...

DaBLoO

... Not okay. You know? The feeling where you know you're about to get sick... freaking breath is warm and eyes all teary and stinging. Something tells me that I should stop smoking for now... nah! I need to study! I need t do well. I hope I get all the crap that I need to shift to Theatre Arts.

Had a late lunch with Kyla and Shark today after class. Then Bea brought some Apple Menthol DJ Mix and off to Burgundy we went. Did nothing really. Just chatted. Caught up on the latest drama behind the curtains of Bluerep. I'm definitely feeling my girlfriend's free spiritedness (she is a girl who is a friend, let's clear that up) Although her thoughts seem to pile on top of each other right now, I'm sure I'll get what she says once we really sit down and talk about her situation.

::background information, my friend just ended a two year relationship with her boyfriend::

I just hope she is happy in the decisions that she has made. I can only be there to watch her and support her. The major decisions, mistakes, and ultimately her contentment will be up to her. I do not really understand what she equates to being trully happy. Is it really going back to her highschool personality and spontaneity? Or all the other reasons that she has given me?

I have no idea. Let's just say that my friend is a grown woman and knows whatever she is getting into... I love you Frastrada*.

*Frastrada is a character in the broadway musical Pippin, who my friend played this summer.

Acoustic Covers | Cigarettes | Freshly Brewed Coffee

Almost 3 Am, just said goodnight to my *Lovah and here updating my blog cause a bunch (well three) people tagged me. Now listening to the sultry voice of Honey, one of my bro's friends singing an acoustic rendition of Smashing Pumpkins' Beautiful. Damn that voice, so mysterious and soothing at the same time. The smell of freshly brewed coffee, compliments of thunderstick pro (you've probably seen it on various tv homeshopping programs), and sheets of cigarette smoke gives the living room a nice relaxed refuge from today's hectic day in Ateneo.

::next song on Honey's guitar--- Ako'y sa iyo, at ika'y akin by True Faith, now with Ate Roma, my sister-in-law, with a broken microphone and the tambourines::

Damn, this is definitely a nice break from the studying that I only started at 2 AM. Shit I hope I have enough Calculus in my head so as not to be embarrassed for the graded recitation I'll be having in class.

Right now what am I doing?... Thinking... yeah... Andrei does have contemplative moments. Underneath the craziness of this clown lies a soul that's hhmm... got a lil' seriousness and intelligible sense that is definitely worth a coffee shop ambiance and one-on-one conversation...

::next song on the guitar Till they take my heart Away ... songs you want to hear and makes you fall in love... over and over and over... *sigh*::

*Sofie was over and dropped off my cellphone which I had left in his house Saturday morning. I am so happy that he stayed for dinner. Even ate Bicol express (spicy) and sweated like hell. I think I was overly dramatic with him tonight, So I'm sorry bubu. I love you. And I miss you already.

Once upon a time... there was Timmie

So at 1 PM my sister wakes me up from the mattress (not even a mattress--- it's a cushion!) which I call my bed cause the phone rang... Lo and behold it was TIM!!! one of a few really good friends from highschool!

I've gone through a lot with this bastard... the first cigarette, getting sent to the principal's office, love, circumcision (don't ask), Kahlua milkshakes with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... the whole New Jersey suburbia experience. And to hear from him was awesome. We talked like we were back in highschool again.

Anyhoo, he finally got his driver's license, which was two years past due and he works at Chilli's (he just earned 100 something dollars for four hours). Funny, he told me he has a new gay friend... and I was like... No way man! I should be the only homosexual in your life (FYI Tim is straight). Ah well, Tim has always been a gay magnet.

But yeah... he wants me to come over to America like NOW--- a deed that is impossible at the moment. He says he misses me and that our other friend Fiori has completely succumbed to the more intellectual and serious side of life (being one of the two students from my highschool to be part of the pre-med program of Monmouth University). And all he does is hang out with Indian people (I'm not being racist) probably dissecting bodies donated for the sake of medicine. But in any case, I miss Tim too... he's the freakin flavah in my life once upon a time, not so many highschool years ago.

I hope he is happy with his life right now. He has been through shit and I know he'll do great. See you back in Jersey man... or come here and experience the third world first hand!

Life today

So after like posting my first real blog entry [ see souls.sex.orgasms.bliss ] I'm thinking hey i might get the hang of this, except that it's kinda hard trying to type like I'm not talking to my friends online i.e. actually using "you" instead of "u"... or replacing parts of words with numbers, hmm for example: sk8 and skate. Ahh! Oh well, the detrimental effects of online interactive chatting for you.

So today, what was the bubblebathboi up2? (see i shoulda' used upto... in any case let's move on) hmmm...

i believe i have to start with last night's events before doing a graceful segue to the shitznitz that went on...

okay so i had rehearsals with BlueRep last night (Bluerep, by the way is the only org i am in right now... one of the most promising college theatre orgs according to my sources--- bias opinion? Yes, i'm afraid).
then headed to antipolo for a BlueRep bash (didn't I tell you BlueRep is also my life?) Fun night of swimming and getting all tipsy ( a nice feeling... not too drunk to throw up, but enough for me to show my ass on tape).
Got dropped off at my *Rony's place... did some stuff... warm sheets... ahhh fell asleep... awesome...

::graceful segue ::transition music::

Woke up at 11 got to Katipunan by 12:30 had lunch with the "us" people ( "us" which I may or may not discuss in this blog for the protection of their identities... haha issues again... oh shut up bitch!)
Then took three rides before gettin' home finally at 2
Started this blog...
TV... phone... waste of life...

And now I am here... convincing myself that typing here and enumerating the highlights of the past 24 hours will benefit mankind.

*Sofie [love you baby]

Immoral

Are you trully my savior?

A statue of purity and virtue

We meet face to face as the holy hymns and nature's winds clash through the refuge bearing your body and blood...

Captivating each being for a moment

Unconsious brightness on their faces

As if understanding... an all knowing illuminati

Of fake repentence and offered sacrifices

Are you trully my God of gods?

Blood stains on each hand

A drill of nails for all who had wronged

Yet your image, a gentle calm.

Disturbed by the trueness of your hazel eyes

Though knowing no blood flows

And no veins exist on your concrete Sacred Heart.

From these oak pews I see a decieving glance...

Is it warmth you exude or a look cursing my existence

Following my every movement...

A mocking grin or one praising my very essence.

Are you my Rock, my Shepherd?

Hold me with those built hands

Underneath that white cloak, unravel your wounds

A gripping reminder of your felt pain and offered salvation.

Kiss me then my Lord

Let me transcend into oblivious bliss

Touch my with your lips

Your flowing hair caress my longing and lost spirit.

Let my cheeks brush against the sweat on your chest

Having me taste the saltiness and your warmth with no regret.

Finally we stand face to face

Though with questions still lingering...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

reaching the height of spiro

souls.sex.orgasms.bliss

from drei's online terms and jibberish

spiro pronounciation (spy-ro) : spiritual orgasm [wih credit to the Alonso brothers]

"... it's like souls having sex,"

A dear friend had mentioned this phrase over lunch in Katipunan, referring to an obvious connection to someone who my friend wasn't necessarily physically attracted to, yet finds, hmmm what's the word... irresistibly-worthy-kinda-thing .

I found it sorta profound (in my very superficial and dysfunctional mind), and yeah it made a lot of sense. I really think u cannot deny the fact that you have some kind of unspoken understanding with another person, where you share the same feelings and almost finish each one's sentences. It is when serious physical contact is both suppressed and controlled and more "wholesome" ways of copulation are considered to reach the height of spiro.